Liberty Mutual

Anyone who knows me, knows that I have little use for most people, and those who know me even better than that, know that under the crusty don’t give a shit/hate everyone layer of my personality, lives a former bright eyed optimist who mourns over the blight that is “The Human Condition”. Now every moment of the day, and I’m sure I’m not alone in this, I am confronted with a multitude of reasons to place a check under the “Humanity is Vile” column in my book (it’s not an actual book, just the irrational, disjointed narrative that I weave in my head in honor of the world as seen through the eyes of a heartbroken cynic). So how do I define “Vile” you ask? Or maybe you don’t ask but this is my blog so I’m going to tell you anyway. Let’s review Webster’s definition:


1 a : morally despicable or abhorrent b : physically repulsive : FOUL

2 : of little worth or account : COMMON; also : MEAN

3 : tending to degrade

4 : disgustingly or utterly bad : OBNOXIOUS, CONTEMPTIBLE



Let’s break it down by the numbers:

1A: Tiger Woods/Jesse James: do I need to elaborate? Didn’t think so.

1B: Larry Flint: Although he fits into the 1A definition, I put him here, because looking at this man makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up and the gorge rise in my throat. McNasty.

2: Strangers who try to take a piss on my dumpster and then call me a fucking bitch for calling them out on it: Hey, assholes, this is my house, take a piss on your own dumpster if you feel the need to unleash your tiny penis in the open air.

3: Political Offices: Really, my blog is not exclusively about politics, I’m not smarty pants enough for that, but I think you would be hard pressed to find a person on American soil who isn’t thoroughly disenchanted and highly disgusted at how degraded and yes, vile the politicians have made the positions that they hold in government.

4: The “Others”: The multitudes of meat bags walking this world without a thought or care for anyone but themselves. They lack the simplest understanding of what it means to live in a community, and the most basic respect for the people around them, including those they profess to care about. At some point in the history of Man, manners have become antiquated and obsolete, instead of a social necessity that should be ingrained on a human being from the moment it takes breath. No longer, do the majority seek to lend a helping hand to a neighbor, hold the door open for someone who has their hands full, or even say good morning when passing one another in the parking lot.

These seem like very minor acts, right? Nothing to be all pissed off about but think about this; none of the above mentioned actions would take something away from the individual performing them, can we agree on that? It takes less than 5 seconds to hold the gas station door open for a pregnant woman, help your neighbor take ten bags of groceries to their third floor condo (especially when you also live on the 3rd floor), or offer a benign smile in greeting to a stranger who leaves for work at the same time as you and parks their car next to yours.

Then consider how the lack of these simple societal niceties can turn from simply ignorant to truly malevolent. That pregnant woman who has worked an eight hour day and has to haul ten bags of groceries to the third floor condo, while the fetus is sitting on her bladder and kicking her ribs, will survive without assistance but what about someone else? What about the man in a wheelchair sitting at a bus stop, getting robbed of his meager belongings by a few punks with too much time on their hands and weak parental influences? Do we ignore him, drive by and pretend that his plight does not impact our lives? (BTW, this actually happened to my neighbor. His wallet, along with a bag of groceries he had where ripped away from him by a couple of future parolees, and insult to injury, they even stole the UofU flag from him wheelchair and tossed it in a dumpster.)

I guess my rambling point is this: We all struggle with the day to day of survival. Sometimes our lives seem like they couldn’t be any more blissful and sometimes, our lives feel like one cataclysmic disaster after another. There are times when it takes everything we have to simply get out of bed in the morning so it’s no wonder we can get caught up in our own personal drama. But consider how things can change from moment to moment. If you are having a wicked bitch of a day and you are travelling home at rush hour on a packed freeway and need to make a lane change, what would you hope would happen? If traffic speeds up to keep you out, the wicked bitch of a day gets exponentially worse, but if someone holds back for a single car length to let you in so you don’t miss your exit, maybe the tension in your neck might loosen up a fraction. Then consider yourself as the person who has to power to let another driver into your lane or speed up.

Ever seen the Liberty Mutual commercial? The one where a person witnesses a good deed and then they end up performing a good deed which is witnessed by someone else and so on? It seems as science fiction as Star Trek but it always chokes me up.

I know I sound full of my own bullshit, and maybe you are hoping I get hoisted on my own petard but all I am is a person who wants to ignore others in the world and let them get their own doors but grudgingly accept that my mama taught be better than that.